Clean Christian Jokes

Clean Christian Jokes and Christian Humor

100 points to get into Heaven

Category : Heaven and Hell Jokes
A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates.

St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."

"Okay" the man says, "I attended church every Sunday"
"That's good, says St. Peter, " that's worth two points"

"Two points?" he says. "Well, I gave 10% of all my earnings to the church"
"Well, let's see," answers Peter, "that's worth another 2 points. Did you do anything else?"

"Two points? Golly. How about this: I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."
"Fantastic, that's certainly worth a point, " he says.

"hmmm...," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart."
"That's wonderful," says St. Peter, "that's worth three points!"

"THREE POINTS!!" the man cries, "At this rate the only way I get into heaven is by the grace of God!"

"Come on in!"


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>     While I really like this as a 'teaching' tool....the problem I face is that St Peter says for the dead guy to tell him 'what good things have you done' in 'good works'. Kind of misleading, but it works in the end.
       by jamie on 29-May-2014  

>     really funny
       by ;dv on 09-Nov-2011  

>     using jokes to preach,love it!
       by mioftu on 11-Oct-2010  

>     so, such is the worth of God's Riches At Christ's Expense
       by poornodai on 26-Oct-2009  

>     What a fascinating way of passing an unshakable truth across!
       by chris smilingface on 28-Sep-2009  

>     This reminds me i cant get there by trying
       by Domshak on 15-Sep-2009  

>     This reminds me i cant get there by trying
       by Domshak on 15-Sep-2009  

>     so true only by the grace of God!!!
       by me on 07-Aug-2009  

>     Thats funny. Yeah good thing we don't have to have points to get to heaven.Then I couldn't come in then.Just kidden
       by Sean on 13-Jul-2009  

>     luckily we do't have point system in heaven. Nice one
       by thamsanqa on 05-Jul-2009  

>     it was cool
       by gertrude on 19-May-2009